The Beer Posse

I have gotten many question on how someone becomes a member of “The Beer Posse”. First of all, you have to be a guest reviewer on 5 events (Brewery review, Beerfest, or other sanctioned beer event). You also need to be voted in by the current Beer Posse crew (but let’s face it, if you’ve come with us on 5 reviews already, we probably like you.)  Once you are a guest reviewer you are asked to select a Beer Posse moniker.  Most of the Posse still work, and we’d like to keep their real names from popping up on searches and being associated with a Beer Blog.

 Pretzel – Pretzel is actually my real nickname (pre-Beer Posse), dating back to my college days where I was known as being a little twisted and salty.  I am a Jersey girl through and through, raised in Woodbury, and currently residing in Logan Twp.  I’ve been attending beerfests for several years now, and I soon discovered the plethora of breweries here in South Jersey.  Who knew???  Certainly not I.  Hence my husband (The Stoutmeister) and I started our quest to visit and review the local breweries, beerfests, and brew pubs and share this information with our neighbors and friends.  Thus – Pretzel’s Beer Blog was born.  We recruited several awesome friends and beer lovers to join us on our adventures, and The Beer Posse was born!  Join us on our quest!

The Stoutmeister – My husband, and main minion, he is happily joining in my beer quest.  He prefers the dark beers and European served-room-temperature beers, and absolutely hates overly carbonated beers.  He is happy to expound on his beer philosophy and opinions to anyone within earshot, while looking for the perfect Oatmeal Stout.  He is not particularly known for his good taste (he married me after all!)  If you see him at a pub or brewery, don’t worry, he won’t bite, well…  not hard any way.  At beerfests, you can usually find him in line for the port-a-potties.

Princess – called this because of her obsession with Disney princesses.  Princess is a non-drinker (not because of any anti-drinking philosophy, just because she doesn’t like the taste) and one of our DD’s (Designated Driver).  I cannot emphasize enough the value of a good DD.  Besides if we didn’t have her, we’d have to take turns being the DD, and that would be torture.  Princess is married to B3.

B3 – which stands for Beer Buddy Bert.  Say it 3 times fast, and it sounds like “Beer Belly Bert”, doesn’t it?  LoL.  Bert is a good judge of beer taste, although he often drinks Blue Moon which I consider a girlie-beer.  And as I’ve said, it takes a strong man to drink a girlie-beer.  So I mean that as a true compliment.  B3 is married to Princess our intrepid (if sometimes reluctant) DD.  It’s very convenient to have a DD in the family.

The Rabbit – appropriately named, The Rabbit is the Energizer Bunny on steroids.  He is unable to keep still, and runs (or hops) here and there, but always returns to the fold.  He is often distracted by bright, shiny, objects; his attention span being somewhat lacking (or nonexistent).  While the other members of the posse value quality over quantity, The Rabbit (who is an accountant and a numbers guy), tends to steer the other way – quantity over quality.  At the AC Beer Fest, he was definitely the “Hare” while the rest of us were more “Tortoises”.  The Rabbit is married to The Wrangler.

The Wrangler – Beloved wife of The Rabbit, The Wrangler is a great addition to the beer posse.  She has discerning taste in beer (but obviously not in friends), and is an athletic trainer (so if any of the beer posse suffer from tennis elbow from lifting too many pints, she is there to take care of us!).  I am assuming she will be the bodyguard of our group, and wrangle us in if any of us get into trouble.  Yeah, it’s bound to happen!

JohnMACbeer – This husband and wife team had to tag-team on a brewery review, due to their inability to drink more than 1 pint at a time before taking an afternoon nap.  MAC is one of my friends from before kindergarten, living around the corner from me growing up, and willing to put up with all my shenanigans. In spite of it all, she still manages to remain one of my dearest friends.  So obviously, we need to question her judgement.  John’s only comment on the review was regarding Food/snacks where he commented “Favorite snack is my tongue licking my lips.  Yummy!”  Ok, so maybe we need to question his judgement as well.  Hmmm.

Nanny Franny is another of our illustrious, and revered DD’s (Designated Driver).  Whereas Princess will sit herself down at a brewery and proceed to read or play Words with Friends, Nanny Franny follows her charges throughout the venues ensuring that they do not get into any mischief or fall victim to any heinous crime.  Well, come to think of it, she’s more of a stalker than a Nanny.  I’ve considered taking out a restraining order against her, but hey, good DD’s are hard to find.  I must say it is a little creepy though when at the end of a day, she recounts (and accurately, I might add) how many times The Stoutmeister and I made bathroom visits.

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The Queen of Funk – Peg joined/formed a group known as “The Queens” in the Washington DC area around 2005.  She herself has come to be known as the “Queen of Funk” given her eclectic taste for the contemporary and unusual (which makes her a perfect candidate for Pretzel’s beer posse).  The Queen of Funk, sister of Pretzel, has been an official beer-taster for decades, having traveled the world over during her service as an US Naval Officer.  “Let the drinking begin!”

The Good Neighbor – The newest member of The Beer Posse, The Good Neighbor joined our ranks in 2018, starting with the Wildwood Beer Fest.  A great addition, The Good Neighbor has a discerning palate and a great appreciation for good beer.  He and The Rabbit met in prison (or was it rehab?), and is now The Rabbit`s accomplice throughout our adventures.  The Good Neighbor brings some normalcy and credibility to this motley crew.

The Tinkler – The Tinkler is our next potential Beer Posse Member, having joined us in 2 reviews so far.  She is one of our beloved Designated Drivers (DDs) and brings enthusiasm and a unique expertise to our group.  Her main responsibility at our reviews is checking out the restroom facilities.  As if you couldn’t have guessed that from her moniker.  She is quite diligent in her assignment, and checks out all aspects of the ladies room (and in some instances, the men’s room) including cleanliness, décor, comfort (nobody likes a cold toilet seat), location, and facilities.  An important task indeed!  She is married to The Good Neighbor.

The Mole Slayer – Ultra-competitive neighbor of John MacBeer, Mole Slayer tracks and kills moles, leaving the carcasses on his driveway for the local critters and predators.  That is until the evil neighbors reported him to the police.  Luckily for Mole slayer, there is no crime in killing moles.  However, it is known that many serial killers start out by killing small animals.  Perhaps we should beware of this future felon!